Mark Carroll's Journal

I held my diet for seven weeks, weighed myself, and had lost only a kilogram, which dispirited me enough that I've eaten more freely since, though at least without gaining much. I don't know when I'll actually start my journey back to what I weighed when I moved from Tennessee.

( Work remains busy, bringing my first project nearer delivery. )

( British unemployment benefit isn't generous. )

( I filed my US taxes but am not holding my breath for the refund. )

( Tax paperwork for charity donation irritated me. )

( Me and our dog are both heavier. )

( We are looking to move just a little south. )

I am not managing to read others' journals anywhere near as completely as I once did. Perhaps if I post rather more briefly, I will get around to posting at all. It's been very many weeks. I will try to mention the occasional random things, even if the picture of things as a whole is left even more incomplete than before.

I am already settled back in to life in the flat here in Aberdeen. I was relieved that driving to Tesco on a rainy Sunday to stock up on many foods went fairly quickly and easily, that was encouraging. Still, lazily I overate rather in Taguig and, with returning from the tropics and being stricter about my food, on my quest to once again fit comfortably into my trousers, I am back to routinely feeling cold and hungry. I am used to that but, especially with such international travel and seeing all kinds of people and places, there's always a sense of wondering if I might like someone else's life, so long as my wife and kids could be along with me for that change.

It's not entirely clear I am back in Scotland: HMRC (who handle UK income tax) are now engaging a specialist team to convince their computer that, with my living in Aberdeen and working for an Edinburgh-based employer, I should be taxed as a resident of Scotland. The computer thinks differently. Welcome to software projects for the public sector, Her Majesty's Government has quite a record on commissioning those. An ex-colleague once had similar trouble, having their computer believe that they lived in England.

The final leg of my journey, from Dublin Airport, wasn't the most impressive. I had to come all the way groundside to achieve the transit, though with no need to pick up my bag at the carousel. Then, the Loganair flight was substantially delayed, eventually we were taken out to look at our airplane for a while from the bus then, from inside the airplane, I got to watch through the window as they repeatedly loaded luggage, unloaded it, loaded different luggage, etc. They seemed quite cheerful about it all though, and I turned out to be one of those who won the lottery of having their bag come along. At least it was better than watching the handling at Manchester, where a guy would set the bags tumbling down a long metal staircase onto the concrete below, and that's the part they do in open view of passengers.

Setting out from Manila wasn't the most impressive either. That flight was also delayed and check-in was very slow given all the overseas workers who needed their employment documentation checked. My own check-in was less smooth than usual as, I think from what I could infer from the conversations in Filipino, they worked on the thorny question of if British citizens need a visa to visit Aberdeen.

I remain the same weight that I was at the end of last month. Maybe I drift downward extremely slowly? I have been eating a little less on most days although, maybe once a week, I have an off-plan not-extravagant lunch, typically outdoors with colleagues, last time was a pork, rice, bean burrito. I have also exercised more, though not enough to make a difference to weight. Now I must decide if to cut down even more or just be very patient. No need to decide immediately.

I have some off-plan vacation coming up for the second half of next month and I have yet to lose the other half of what I gained on vacation over three months ago.

I feel as if I am finally managing to get back onto track. I've been working out more days than not and will do better if I can more reliably get to bed sooner. I have started using the cross-trainers at work and, it's a long way back to my workouts in Scotland, but steady progress will more than suffice, it all helps. Eating a little less is also feeling sustainable. Today I finished cutting some larger insertable filters for my masks and am now thinking about assembling the next bedside table. Admittedly, mopping the floors may have to wait yet.

Stopping into work on a Sunday morning just to use a cross-trainer may seem undue effort when I could be exerting myself around my neighborhood here but I endeavor to establish a sustainable routine and that goal is served by minimizing the influence of the weather. Presently I work on campus on Wednesday and Thursdays and work out afterward, Sunday is nicely distant from both. I could buy a cross-trainer of my own but they are large and unwieldly and work provides nice ones for staff use. If only they had a pool too, at least one not exhibiting Cherenkov radiation.

It also helps that I am pausing work on the house for a while. There is some work that I hope to get done later this year, such as getting the attic insulated properly at last, but the handyman should be coming over tomorrow to wrap up the current drainage work and deal with the scrap and trash that's been left. What remnants he leaves, I shall dispose of myself. It is difficult for me to relax and get on with things when I have others around.

The past three weekends, I have weighed 145lb. Those pounds I gained over the holidays just will not budge. While I am not carefully counting calories, my diet is constant enough to be amendable to adjustment. I am now eating a bit less on typical days, with luck that will finally get me back to where I was.

I enjoyed a modest and quiet Thanksgiving. I saw family online, I breakfasted on a poblano pepper omelette, and later ate some convenience-food traditional Thanksgiving fare, also some crab rangoon with smoked salmon. Toward the end of the day I had beer and chicken wings with a neighbor. Today, for lunch, I think I may treat myself to tilapia and scallops then a little blueberry pie.

This morning, while I was washing the dishes I'd lazily left from Thanksgiving, I found myself remembering what I had made with each dish. The radio played Beethoven's Sixth which reminded me that, thanks to Soylent Green (1973), this season I can also be thankful that my Thanksgiving meal wasn't made of old people.

I gained several pounds during my visit to Scotland. This week will not much help that but my diet can wait a little longer.

Since switching my diet's daily fasting from mornings to evenings, I find that one unanticipated benefit is that it encourages me to drag myself out of bed: if I like, the first thing I can do today is to finally eat something again!

Being a little stricter with myself seems to have been working, my weight returned to its gentle trend downward. Next, I should focus on my resting heart rate, I am still slacking in trying to get back into exercising most days.

Whenever I come in under 140lb, I get a day off to eat whatever I like. Yesterday I tried Krystal for what may be the first time. I am used to White Castle, which is soon to celebrate its centenary, and this seems similar. The meal was quite good, mostly in terms of spice: the default condiment on the cheeseburgers is mustard, chili cheese fries are readily available, and the apple turnover had plenty of cinnamon; altogether a nice combination. If I order online from home then I reach the Krystal drive-through just about on time for pickup.

For today's lunch, I shall fry a couple of fresh steakburgers that were on discount at the grocery store, alongside them I have diced half an onion, which I had left over, and sliced one of the leeks I bought yesterday. I also have a potato baking in the oven, I'll probably put butter and cheese in it. Once cooked, I'll save one of the burgers for another day.

At the moment I have an easy time with meals. I work from home and the kitchen's but a few steps away from my desk. Even on weekdays, it is easy enough to prepare all kinds of meals without bothering anybody or much stepping away from work, even while something's cooking I can just step back over occasionally to check on its progress, maybe stir it again.

I am not aware that we yet have any results from the Big Breakfast Study but my general impression of current chrononutrition thinking is that it favors eating earlier in the day, rather than later. I vaguely recall that this may also be true of exercise. Anyhow, I eat breakfast and lunch, then fast for the remainder of the day. It's not as if I can eat much food without becoming overweight, and some degree of fasting seems to help against diet-related disease.

As a high fraction of my colleagues are now fully vaccinated, later this summer I expect to have to work on campus each day. I do not wish to much change my overall diet, it works well for me, but I get to figure when to try to exercise and what to eat when. There are refrigerators and microwaves around the office but, say, frying fresh vegetables and fish is probably no longer the kind of direction to take. There is also a cafeteria, though daily use would cost a fair bit.

I haven't decided what to do. I am not going to get time to fit a decent meal in before work. My inclination is to maintain the evening fasting and cut some of the fresh foods out of my typical diet, use the cafeteria a little, frozen ready meals too, maybe sometimes cold sandwiches, then I can continue to devote the evening to other things. I may need to correct course as I see how the changes affect my weight. At least I have time to think about it.

Update: I ought to have noted that, before the Eventpandemic, lunchtimes were during my fasting period so I was already out of the habit of eating at work.