Failing to rouse energy
Feb. 14th, 2017 06:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mtbcI awoke rather prematurely this morning. If I am sufficiently awake then it is not worth my trying to get any more sleep: I am not a easy-napping kind of person. Lying in bed I found myself being bothered by thoughts about odd matters like employment contracts' terms regarding contact with the press for people whose jobs put them much in the public eye.
If I had a useful amount of willpower I would have used the opportunity of an early start to get the day's exercise out of the way. But, it is cold and dark outdoors and the cross-trainer is in the garage and I am more pathetic than I ought to be, so here I sit with coffee and laptop computer. In the US it is far easier to find a home with enough of a cellar to be useful extra in-home space to keep items like exercise equipment but I need to be better at enjoying where I am instead of missing where I am not.
It is not any colder outdoors than times I have previously gone out to exercise: I am just short of willpower and enthusiasm. I do cope with various things: I actually managed to get back to writing a little Haskell at home last night, though on a project I now recall might be rendered useless in a few months by others; our washing machine is broken again; I am unjoyfully battling Hibernate interceptors at work while editing code I only half-understand to make it support new behavior; I got more things stowed in the attic for now; I caught up with my neglected filing of paperwork. But there are limits and I am not managing to push them enough to get ahead in any meaningful sense. I do not even want to work on that bit of Haskell code right now. I have background irritation at living in a small cluttered house, earning barely enough to support us in our modest lifestyle, and the weather having been generally gray and cold and damp lately: small problems by the standards of many and I need to be better at seeing past them, at having them motivate me instead of wear me down.
This morning I learned bad news about somebody who I had thought a good presence in the world, and I don't think that lightly. I did not know them well yet I can all too easily turn it into an excuse why I should not be expected to get much done today. In practice it does work best for me to just continue as normal but I shall think of them nonetheless.
If I had a useful amount of willpower I would have used the opportunity of an early start to get the day's exercise out of the way. But, it is cold and dark outdoors and the cross-trainer is in the garage and I am more pathetic than I ought to be, so here I sit with coffee and laptop computer. In the US it is far easier to find a home with enough of a cellar to be useful extra in-home space to keep items like exercise equipment but I need to be better at enjoying where I am instead of missing where I am not.
It is not any colder outdoors than times I have previously gone out to exercise: I am just short of willpower and enthusiasm. I do cope with various things: I actually managed to get back to writing a little Haskell at home last night, though on a project I now recall might be rendered useless in a few months by others; our washing machine is broken again; I am unjoyfully battling Hibernate interceptors at work while editing code I only half-understand to make it support new behavior; I got more things stowed in the attic for now; I caught up with my neglected filing of paperwork. But there are limits and I am not managing to push them enough to get ahead in any meaningful sense. I do not even want to work on that bit of Haskell code right now. I have background irritation at living in a small cluttered house, earning barely enough to support us in our modest lifestyle, and the weather having been generally gray and cold and damp lately: small problems by the standards of many and I need to be better at seeing past them, at having them motivate me instead of wear me down.
This morning I learned bad news about somebody who I had thought a good presence in the world, and I don't think that lightly. I did not know them well yet I can all too easily turn it into an excuse why I should not be expected to get much done today. In practice it does work best for me to just continue as normal but I shall think of them nonetheless.
