A strange Thanksgiving
Nov. 26th, 2020 07:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mtbcRelocating for a new job has kept me very busy. I was at the house last night waiting for UPS to bring me a microwave oven, it came at 19h. Tomorrow I am there from 7h to receive a refrigerator from Home Depot, should they be able to fit it into the house; I don't care at this point, they will or they won't, I can handle either. I have not had time to prepare for Thanksgiving, at least we get both today and tomorrow off work. I could have shopped last-minute today but I harbor doubts about encouraging stores to make staff work those shifts, though I suppose some are glad of the distraction or any extra pay.
I have planned this move for many years, knowing that my chance to make a new life here was starting to pass. I knew I would miss my family but it really hit me today, a few times I have felt so sad there wasn't a better way to do this that I needed to just lie in bed and process things. I dearly hope that I can get my kids to stay some summers, part of why I am moving while they are still students is to open the US to them as an option for when they graduate. I do hope they know how deeply I love them, how I can't express all they mean to me. But, well, kids grow up, my youngest is nearly seventeen, they will make their own lives whatever I do. As an adult I certainly would have liked to see more of my own parents but life didn't work out like that. Similarly, I will treasure what time I still get with my kids but I have to accept how things have changed. It meant a lot to me to get to see my family on qTox today, especially to see that they seemed to be doing well.
This year's holiday period will be very solitary for me, especially with the pandemic too. Conversations online are no substitute for getting to spend the whole day with the ones you love. I have many blessings to count but, at least for the meantime, some days will be harder than others. It helps that one of my new neighbors is a family whose thoughtfulness touched my heart: this afternoon I ate a pumpkin muffin that they kindly gave me yesterday.
I have planned this move for many years, knowing that my chance to make a new life here was starting to pass. I knew I would miss my family but it really hit me today, a few times I have felt so sad there wasn't a better way to do this that I needed to just lie in bed and process things. I dearly hope that I can get my kids to stay some summers, part of why I am moving while they are still students is to open the US to them as an option for when they graduate. I do hope they know how deeply I love them, how I can't express all they mean to me. But, well, kids grow up, my youngest is nearly seventeen, they will make their own lives whatever I do. As an adult I certainly would have liked to see more of my own parents but life didn't work out like that. Similarly, I will treasure what time I still get with my kids but I have to accept how things have changed. It meant a lot to me to get to see my family on qTox today, especially to see that they seemed to be doing well.
This year's holiday period will be very solitary for me, especially with the pandemic too. Conversations online are no substitute for getting to spend the whole day with the ones you love. I have many blessings to count but, at least for the meantime, some days will be harder than others. It helps that one of my new neighbors is a family whose thoughtfulness touched my heart: this afternoon I ate a pumpkin muffin that they kindly gave me yesterday.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-27 03:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-30 12:03 am (UTC)It's kind of akin to running or walking a marathon, just keep looking towards the horizon, and enjoying moments along the way.
Glad your neighbors were able to give you a pumpkin muffin.