Disappointment today and more broadly

( In some ways, my daily life is figured out. )

( I got rather less done at work today than I had hoped to. )

I believe that the situation with the house is what weighs on me most. I am less confident in myself, having managed to buy a house that, unnoticed by the inspection, needs so much further work. Sure, it was recently remodeled (and priced accordingly), but so incompetently. I can't arrange my environment to fit how I want to live and what I want to do when various rooms still need work, currently the central living area and kitchen. It feels interminable and costs so many thousands of dollars, I am spending much faster than I earn it, and, on days like today, I don't feel worth my salary anyway. So, I suffer double imposter syndrome, both: can I be good at my work, and do I even have the life skills to use my inheritance wisely. Also, spring is coming and I will soon have to apply money and attention to the kudzu-choked tall trees, not that the inspection mentioned the kudzu.

( I think I am rather more unlucky than incompetent. )

I remain many steps back from where I had expected to now be, and where I am now is hardly comfortable.