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Starting to wear down
There seem to be so many things to do and, being new here, I do many of them slowly, even down to small chores like trying to find items in a local grocery store today. Having only just moved to the country, things need to be done on several fronts: to get many done in this first month I have been making fast decisions, some large. It worries me to have to charge ahead without having chance to step back and reflect. I now have the most urgent matters behind me: the house is bought, the car is bought and registered in the county my house is in, a driver license and vehicle title are on their way to me, various initial items are on the way to the empty house toward making it livable, I have paid my deposit to the public utilities and they read the meters, I have completed and submitted my pre-hire paperwork, etc. Tomorrow morning I shall pick up my new work laptop as I start this Monday, probably mostly with online training and benefits choices.
Having done so much lately, I feel as if I need a rest; I am tired and slowing down. However, this next couple of weeks will be a challenge: I must fit my existing setup activity around proving myself in a full-time job while also having to wait at the empty house a lot to receive the various deliveries by which I furnish and appoint it. Staying there will get easier as such things arrive, one highlight being the refrigerator on Friday. At least, with luck, Comcast* will actually turn up tomorrow to install cable broadband; last time I waited around for a couple of hours only to discover that they had no record of the appointment. This time I shall pack some sandwiches, apples, and almonds; fortunately, there is a window seat I can use until any chairs arrive. My goods and effects from Scotland will have been in transit for over two months before they finally reach me, probably on some Saturday in the first half of December because receiving it all will take more than flexible working easily accommodates, and vacation time is precious indeed here.
*I am not spoilt for choice, welcome to market failure. At least they called to confirm this second appointment.
I tell myself that I just have to keep going, that, if I can keep on just doing the next urgent thing, in time things will settle, the rate of urgent tasks will drop, that I will become faster at doing them, even be able to take an occasional breath. I have accumulated so many to-do's, some postponed from early this year when I switched to working on job applications, then planning for this move, etc. That things have gone well shows that I am luckier than I deserve: I have put hasty band-aids over various problems, planning to return to them later, and that now includes various acquired house maintenance. I don't even have curtain or towel rods yet, I'll measure tomorrow, not that I have a ladder or drill either, those are still coming. To some extent I will also be spending money in lieu of the time I don't have.
I feel disconnected from my family who remain back in Scotland. It is inevitable but also sad. Our lives apart don't have much in common and, while I love to interact with them and those times are very precious to me, such ad hoc opportunities no longer arise when we are not together anymore. They know I am available online, glad to help or listen or whatever where I can. I love them but I am the one who left, wanting to still have enough working years to remake a life here, and they are forging their own paths. I hope to at least have one of the kids stay with me during a summer break.
Having done so much lately, I feel as if I need a rest; I am tired and slowing down. However, this next couple of weeks will be a challenge: I must fit my existing setup activity around proving myself in a full-time job while also having to wait at the empty house a lot to receive the various deliveries by which I furnish and appoint it. Staying there will get easier as such things arrive, one highlight being the refrigerator on Friday. At least, with luck, Comcast* will actually turn up tomorrow to install cable broadband; last time I waited around for a couple of hours only to discover that they had no record of the appointment. This time I shall pack some sandwiches, apples, and almonds; fortunately, there is a window seat I can use until any chairs arrive. My goods and effects from Scotland will have been in transit for over two months before they finally reach me, probably on some Saturday in the first half of December because receiving it all will take more than flexible working easily accommodates, and vacation time is precious indeed here.
*I am not spoilt for choice, welcome to market failure. At least they called to confirm this second appointment.
I tell myself that I just have to keep going, that, if I can keep on just doing the next urgent thing, in time things will settle, the rate of urgent tasks will drop, that I will become faster at doing them, even be able to take an occasional breath. I have accumulated so many to-do's, some postponed from early this year when I switched to working on job applications, then planning for this move, etc. That things have gone well shows that I am luckier than I deserve: I have put hasty band-aids over various problems, planning to return to them later, and that now includes various acquired house maintenance. I don't even have curtain or towel rods yet, I'll measure tomorrow, not that I have a ladder or drill either, those are still coming. To some extent I will also be spending money in lieu of the time I don't have.
I feel disconnected from my family who remain back in Scotland. It is inevitable but also sad. Our lives apart don't have much in common and, while I love to interact with them and those times are very precious to me, such ad hoc opportunities no longer arise when we are not together anymore. They know I am available online, glad to help or listen or whatever where I can. I love them but I am the one who left, wanting to still have enough working years to remake a life here, and they are forging their own paths. I hope to at least have one of the kids stay with me during a summer break.