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Idle leisure with friends
Driving on the A9 tonight I passed under a road bridge atop which a few teenagers were sitting together safely. I greatly envied them: it has been so long since I was at any risk of spending a pleasant summer evening just hanging out with friends. I lived maybe fifteen miles from my high school which was hardly conducive to a social life outside class but at least at university I had some great evenings and nights with friends.
I realized that wanting such times doesn't seem to be asking for much. I don't let my age define my behavior but I noticed a couple of other ways in which I may be lacking. First, moving around so much has left me short of local friends: those I've felt closest to, most at ease with, are not even in Scotland. I don't put much effort into friend-making here because adjusting my career seems higher priority and I do not plan to remain long-term anyway.
Second, my life is full of things I have to do to or things that I at least feel as if I should do. If I am at a loose end it is because I feel too tired and just want to turn off and watch television or whatever. Though, hanging out with close friends might be recuperative rather than taxing.
I have given some thought to how to get to know people in a new community. Over a few years it isn't too hard near a larger American city even if one avoids church and suchlike. We met one friend just by taking shelter in the same grocery store during heavy rain and we even started getting to know our mortgage broker before we left the state. However, the other piece might be trying to live a modest enough life, especially in ambition, to leave enough breathing space for just hanging out with people outside more organized activities like book clubs or whatever.
I realized that wanting such times doesn't seem to be asking for much. I don't let my age define my behavior but I noticed a couple of other ways in which I may be lacking. First, moving around so much has left me short of local friends: those I've felt closest to, most at ease with, are not even in Scotland. I don't put much effort into friend-making here because adjusting my career seems higher priority and I do not plan to remain long-term anyway.
Second, my life is full of things I have to do to or things that I at least feel as if I should do. If I am at a loose end it is because I feel too tired and just want to turn off and watch television or whatever. Though, hanging out with close friends might be recuperative rather than taxing.
I have given some thought to how to get to know people in a new community. Over a few years it isn't too hard near a larger American city even if one avoids church and suchlike. We met one friend just by taking shelter in the same grocery store during heavy rain and we even started getting to know our mortgage broker before we left the state. However, the other piece might be trying to live a modest enough life, especially in ambition, to leave enough breathing space for just hanging out with people outside more organized activities like book clubs or whatever.