Mark Carroll's Journal

Cross-trainer

2026-02-23T20:42:14Z

I had a proper go on the cross-trainer after work. It will certainly suit for some while, on this first go it kicked my ass; I haven't been on one since they dropped the requirement for masking at the gym at work in Eastern Tennessee, after most people stopped caring about COVID-19. One of the nice things about starting again is that tangible progress is easily achieved for a while, I expect the same this time. Judging by my prior performance after enough workouts, I'll be kicking this machine's ass again someday but not for months yet. Someday I could graduate to a cardiostrong EX60 or somesuch but I don't expect to become that wealthy.

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A varied update

2026-02-22T22:35:22Z

Yesterday, I had a headache all day which obviously wasn't great. I still went shopping in the town center with R. but was more content being a beast of burden than making any choices, also for busier or more cramped shops I was happy enough to wait outside in the space and the breeze. My headache finally improved somewhat in the evening, after some paracetamol. I don't think that my head was affected by fasting for Ramadan, the previous day and today were fine. One of our errands was to pass by the newer Asian grocery store (our neighbourhood has many Middle Eastern and South Asian people) to pick up more fast-breaking dates. At this latitude, I could get used to these winter Ramadans.

My annual appraisal at work went decently, especially given that it includes a period of my finding my feet. At the moment I'm working mostly in my comfort zone, on somewhat mathematical/algorithmic code that does not require figuring out other complex aspects of our system. I'll probably help out with some other random thing too, this coming (Agile) sprint.

I finally bought a cross-trainer, a JTX Strider-X8. It's smaller than the previous NordicTrack Audio Strider 500 from before moving to the US, it just about fits in the flat, and the flywheel's also rather smaller so maximum resistance gets it up only to being just about worth bothering with, but it's somewhat affordable and far better than no cross-trainer. I look forward to planning it into my weeks.

We've been bad at festivals again. This weekend featured excellent meatloaf yesterday (it happened to be just to my taste) and a variant of kedgeree today, thanks to R. as usual. At some point, we will get around to eating Asian round things for the Chinese New Year and pancakes for Shrove Tuesday, but delayed as usual. As we're not exactly observant of the wider context of these, such flexibility doesn't exactly detract from whatever authenticity there is in our celebration.

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Broken record of recurrent thoughts

2026-02-07T18:12:07Z

I mention a few recurring topics, probably because I still haven't properly addressed them. For instance, ( I remain overweight and unfit. )

I also need to get back to writing code in Haskell and in Rust. Quite how and when this happens, I am not sure. I do need ( to sort out my personal computing. )

R. is thinking about when and how we move to live somewhere else. For a couple more years yet, high school catchment area remains quite a constraint, though I can look around ( for where we might move to someday. )

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Miscellany

2025-12-19T16:27:22Z

Today is my first day of leave from work for over the Christmas break. This morning we sent the boys off back home to Asia to visit family, now it's just me and R. I am relaxing on the sofa with our dog L. while R. brings some sanity to the kitchen storage. I already feel my headspace increasing and have been getting some small postponed things done. Many more await.

I am quite good at sleeping. Given the opportunity, I can do plenty of it. This morning, I dreamt we lived somewhere else and I spied a sizable swirly unnatural-looking Weather Thing approaching, and turned to R. to strongly suggest that we leave the house now and drive elsewhere.

Again, I thought back to high school where one of my math teachers figured Cartesian coordinates for the vertices of a regular dodecahedron and, looking at one, I wonder what the straightforward strategy is for doing that. I like to think that enough staring and turning would help make it clearer. Now, this is where I wish I had a large desktop system with lots of PCI-e slots for used RTX 3090's or somesuch: it's the kind of thing I'm happy to try idly chatting to some opensource LLM about. It's not as if anything's riding on the answer. Perhaps they're rather better at classic book suggestions than anything analytic though.

I also got to wonder about mobile telephony. ( How might routing work? )

My mention of idly chatting to LLMs reminds me, I have three sizable pending purchases in mind: such a desktop AI system, a small laptop for use while commuting, and a cross-trainer. The interesting question is how to prioritize them though clearly the first there should actually be last while I cross my fingers for the bubble bursting. Also, I'm reluctant to spend too freely until I'm more ahead of the higher-interest debt.

In the meantime, I've found that, as usual, BBC iPlayer didn't exactly help me discover that there's recent Later… with Jools Holland to provide me with a somewhat alternative musical backdrop, albeit a considerably mixed bag of such. I've been enjoying ex-BBC's Stereo Underground recently which is also nicely varied. Given that it often plays the music of my childhood, it makes me wonder: I think of all the energy of especially some of the more punk-ish songs, and how exciting life seemed to me at the time, especially with books filling my head with new intellectual worlds to wrestle with. There's something there I'd be interested to recapture, about possibility and choice, about who I am and what I pursue. I may not quite know which destinations make sense but one of the many wonderful things about R. is how supportive they are.

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Back to camping

2025-05-12T17:28:53Z

We returned to camping last weekend and were quite lucky with the weather, the loch looked beautiful on our first morning and we saw small fish in the shallows. I am out of shape or just worn out though, I was very appreciative of having limited duties with the teardown in particular. I slept well, wrapped in my sleeping bag inside a sleeping bag atop a new air mattress. The sunny afternoons could be warm but the nights still get chilly. While different absolutely, I was reminded of the relative cooling when I was outside Tucson in the desert after night fell. In a different life, I might have ended up living in a trailer in the Sonoran Desert but that's something the multiverse can explore on my behalf. R. is excellent at organizing our camping, I am lucky to get to follow their lead.

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Short-term memory for to-do's

2025-02-15T10:54:01Z

When I used to exercise frequently, commonly I would think about things while I worked out. I would accumulate items to note for later and, toward the end of my half-hour-ish workout, I would have accumulated enough of these to challenge my short-term memory. These days, the same kind of thing can happen while I take a bath.

Yesterday was unusual. First, I woke up, thought of some things while in bed then got up to note them. Then, I took a bath and thought of more to note. Before work, I thought of more. These were all work-related to-do's. By the time my workday started, I had accumulated sixteen of them. Some of them were quick tasks, some took longer. By the end of the day, I had completed ten of them.

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A varied update

2024-08-22T16:57:25Z

( I was busy with a family visit. )

( The rented Volvo was a little annoying. )

I have also been involved with a major product launch at work and have been somewhat covering as colleagues have also been taking some days off. At least work stuff has gone fairly smoothly and I have enjoyed getting back to writing some code. My work-life balance is back under control, at least to a first approximation.

Given the above activity, last weekend was my first reasonably free one for quite some time. I spent the Saturday with family visiting from Dundee. Now we are to ready the flat for relisting for sale through a different agent. Among all that, we will try to find another weekend for camping, not that the current weather is encouraging.

( Our dog's a good weight, I am finally dieting to improve mine. )

( Money's tight at the moment. )

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Levitating during exercise

2023-08-26T09:31:10Z

In one dream this morning, which included irrelevant parts about things like getting my laptop computer back from somewhere, I was upstairs exercising on something like a cross-trainer, except it sometimes looked more like an old garden roller. When I was getting settled on it in a good rhythm, it would inconveniently levitate, just a little, no more than a couple of feet. This was awkward because it would float around a bit, sometimes such that other things in the room would get in the way of my trying to use it. As I used it, I puzzled over the phenomenon, not seeing how me on heavy equipment could be lifting from the floor.

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Local swimming pool

2023-08-04T08:24:14Z

Yesterday evening, we tried the local swimming pool. Unlimited access would cost me £15 per month. It's a reasonable enough facility, quite typical of those one finds in British cities. Swimming is taught to primary school children here, most of us end up being bussed there from school each week for a while for the lessons. I was struck by the disappointment of being able to stand in the deep end of the pool, which is apparently 1½m. I don't know if my childhood memories of such pools are different between I am now taller or they were deeper.

The swimming lanes weren't impossibly full but enough occupied, in some cases with people who weren't simply swimming up and down them, that I remained with my family in the more general area. I wonder how busy those lanes are on, say, weekday mid-mornings.

Given how little exercise that I feel that I have gotten since I stopped using the cross-trainers at my previous workplace, after they dropped the requirement to mask, I was surprised to find myself seeming fitter than I expected in the pool, it wasn't much of an effort to do a length of front crawl. After enough swimming, I started experiencing some toe cramps, which surprised me. I would stand and pause until they passed.

In terms of contagious disease, at the pool I didn't feel as if I was much getting enough close to people that my risk of COVID-19 is unacceptable, I just wish there were a more obvious place by the pool to leave rubber sandals that might usefully distance me from others' foot diseases. Since stopping swimming frequently back in 2016, when two increases in my payroll deduction for pensions made the gym membership too difficult for us to afford, I sure haven't missed having to treat occasional plantar warts and athlete's foot.

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Finally got to swim again

2023-06-26T08:28:47Z

The Firth of Clyde has a few beaches along it. Previously we visited Lunderston Bay, last Saturday we drove to Prestwick Beach and I judged the water warm enough to swim in. Once I was in, others followed, and we had a nice time in the sea for a good while. The beach turned out to be rather shallow so one can go some way out before gaining much depth. Looking out toward Arran, the blue sky and white clouds reflected very prettily off the surface of the water. I hadn't noticed that from the beach, perhaps it helped to have my head closer to the surface. I expect the sea to stay warm enough into the autumn.

I am not sure of the nomenclature for bodies of water. When I swam off Cornwall, it was fairly clearly the Atlantic. Off Aberdeen, I thought of it as being the North Sea, and since our move we have been visiting the Firth. However, I wonder if those are technically also the Atlantic. Either way, they all seem more than adequate to me, just as I was happy enough to be swimming in Lake Erie, it has a distant horizon and waves and such.

We had a band of rain moving through Scotland yesterday so I am glad that we had chance to visit the beach before it arrived.

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Rather wetted

2023-06-17T16:56:39Z

R. and I are glad of excuses to go for a walk locally. We did so yesterday, to run some errands in the city centre. Rain was forecast but not yet. Still, there was a gray cloud of which I should have taken more notice. When we were over in the pedestrianized section of Argyle Street, the heavens opened. It was interesting how the temperature also seemed to drop. We were rained upon for our journey home, whereupon a hot shower and a change of clothes made us feel much better.

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Settling somewhat into the flat

2023-05-20T04:37:20Z

( After moving to the new flat, still plenty to do but much now done. )

( I think it was a good move. )

( Since the move, money will be tight for some time yet. )

My eldest happened to be nearby around their birthday so I got to walk over a couple of times and say hello, which was great. I've not been able to see my kids as much in recent months, with all the property viewings, the move and setup, etc. Maybe next weekend, here's hoping.

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Exercise challenges

2023-04-09T17:19:30Z

For worthwhile, frequent exercise I need some simple, single activity that is vigorous, low-impact, all-round, and includes resistance. Years ago, when I had the disposable income for private gym membership, I used to swim laps. When I could no longer afford the membership, I bought a cross-trainer. Then, I moved to Eastern Tennessee and my employer's gym included cross-trainers. I was getting back into a good habit there when they dropped the on-site mask mandate.

Although a look at people's present conduct would make one think that the pandemic had never happened, I read the current evidence as indicating that SARS-CoV-2 is still very much present, repeated infection is not unusual, and each bout of COVID-19 brings long-term health risks. Exertion increases infectiousness, just as with singing, etc. The NHS is hardly generous with frequent vaccination boosters and I do not have an easy alternative source.

I am unfit at the moment. With the move to Scotland, time in Southeast Asia, and now trying to buy our own home (hence property viewings, etc.), exercise has been a second thought. However, life may be stabilizing soon, so I should plan a return to exercising. I strained my back a few weeks ago, it still doesn't feel back to normal, and this never happened when the workouts involving all my limbs strengthened my core too.

We will probably be moving to a small city-centre flat. A cross-trainer is not going to fit into it comfortably. Pool and gym access may be affordable there but they may be full of people strongly exhaling plague around me, an especial concern if I am to visit frequently. Perhaps I need to find some other means of at-home exercise that seems both palatable and sufficient.

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A pleasant afternoon's walking, coming travel, and more

2022-09-24T16:56:33Z

This afternoon, I achieved some goals. I walked to the local Sainsbury's and bought everything on my shopping list, plus some extra bagels, I also thought to look for insect repellent but they don't offer much of a range. I also walked to the beach and dipped my feet into the 13°C water a couple of times. On the way back, I happened upon both the Masjid Alhikmah and the nearby Aberdeen Multicultural Centre so at least I know where those are. I was on my way to a fish and chip shop. I notice that the curry sauce locally is darker and spicier than I am used to from England. I don't know if that reflects changes in time or place or that they have more South than East Asian influence or what. At least in SE Asia I don't think they have the concept of British Chinese curry sauce which I think at least includes five-spice.

This Saturday, I set off back to Taguig, we should hear about the visa applications while I am there. I belong with my wife. Happily, tomorrow I get to take my children to the Japanese Garden at Cowden Castle, it's well over a hundred miles one-way for me but worth it, though I'll be out of the house early as rain may move in later in the afternoon and my eldest will have evening D&D. This Wednesday, I'll take the train back into our Edinburgh office while an electrician replaces some emergency lighting here in the flat, then my goods and effects from Eastern Tennessee should be delivered shortly before I leave the country.

Once back in Taguig, Riza and I may resume our habit of morning walks. Often, we head over toward Arca South and buy some groceries on Maharlika Road on our way back. Not much further is the weekend market, Saturdays being the best for that, it's kind of temporary stalls but mostly covered by tarpaulin. Occasionally, we venture in a different direction to Laguna Lake. I hope that the visa applications are approved, that we get to walk together here too, unfortunately the UK immigration process is even worse than the US'. Naturally, I converted my savings largely into pounds sterling just in time for historic lows, I remember the days when £1 bought over $1.60, though also when gas in Ohio was 99¢/gallon and it made sense for me to own a 5ℓ V8. At the beach today, the cheapest single-scoop cone ice cream I saw was £2.50, I guess the usual beachfront price-doubling applies up here too. So, I didn't achieve the goal of ice cream at the beach but the important one was the feet-dipping.

I came home to mixed doubles snooker on the television, I didn't know that was a thing. Now I am here, I shall catch up on the latest of the new LotR show while treating myself to pista kheer. I have badam halwa for another day.

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A pleasant walk

2022-07-10T16:32:15Z

I had no errands planned for today but, just as when I first moved here, the weather is glorious and ideal for a walk, sunny and pleasant, it seemed wrong not to go out. It is amusing to see the fuss about the hot weather, given what I know from Tennessee and the Philippines, though this far north is cool indeed, I don't think it got much over 20°C today, not that that stopped me from buying ice cream in a cone from a van.

I have a couple of lovely parks within an easy walk of my flat and I took the opportunity to explore them. Both are well-tended, and well-used with families and dog-walkers and such. I think the water features are strictly ornamental rather than for paddling in.

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An initial expedition; thoughts along the way

2022-06-26T17:30:47Z

( Earlier this week, expected deliveries kept me at home. )

On today's expedition, ( I peered at a high school and avoided a bicyclist. )

( Google Maps led me astray. )

( I checked out the city-centre shops. )

( I bought freezer bags at Sainsbury's. )

( I still plan to buy a car. )

( I was a bit sore after the walk but I do need exercise. )

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Back to working out

2022-04-09T13:05:52Z

I was back on a cross-trainer at work this morning, for the first time since returning from my vacation. I didn't achieve a lot, the couple of weeks off may have set me back another couple of weeks, but I will eventually get to half-hour workouts.

My fear of SARS-CoV-2 means that the dropping of the mask mandate at work makes me hesitant to use the gym. I do not think that I dare risk it during normal workdays. If I go in on weekend mornings, I typically have it to myself but that is extra drive time and I don't know if two consecutive days of cardio each week suffices for reaching reasonable fitness atop my simple strength training at home.

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The end of the mask mandate at work

2022-03-12T00:11:58Z

From next week, those in my workplace will no longer be required to mask and, indeed, I suspect that many won't. The workforce is largely vaccinated, maybe half received a booster. ( I fear long-term effects from contracting SARS-CoV-2. )

While we were all masking, my approach was to remain comfortable in eating with people outdoors ( and I suspect that the risks, now higher, largely arise indoors. )

Perhaps it can suffice for me to wear an FFP2 during meetings and to try to sit far from others, off at the side or back of the room rather than around the table, or similar. ( Air purifiers may help. )

The gym's another concern, people may become more contagious in working out hard. I should like to continue using it, perhaps I shall escalate to both FFP2 and safety goggles, I haven't worn the latter at work before.

In short, I do not know what to do, nor do I have good numbers, perhaps nobody does. I wonder what tradeoffs make sense.

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Habitually working out

2022-02-25T00:30:26Z

Cautiously, I declare myself to have resumed a habit of working out again, finally. Walking up to my car this afternoon, to drive over to the gym, I observed how untimely it seemed to now be feeling some kind of soreness in maybe some muscle in my thigh. Still, I thought I'd try working out anyway and, sure enough, I was able to do what I had planned and I felt no worse for the attempt. This reminds me of how, when I feel somewhat achy, if I work out anyway then it doesn't feel any worse.

Ignore that you feel worse and work out anyway is hardly generally applicable advice to be endorsed by medical professionals but it pleases me that it tends to work in my case.

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A new plateau, perhaps

2022-02-20T12:48:28Z

I remain the same weight that I was at the end of last month. Maybe I drift downward extremely slowly? I have been eating a little less on most days although, maybe once a week, I have an off-plan not-extravagant lunch, typically outdoors with colleagues, last time was a pork, rice, bean burrito. I have also exercised more, though not enough to make a difference to weight. Now I must decide if to cut down even more or just be very patient. No need to decide immediately.

I have some off-plan vacation coming up for the second half of next month and I have yet to lose the other half of what I gained on vacation over three months ago.

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An improving trajectory

2022-02-06T22:26:42Z

I feel as if I am finally managing to get back onto track. I've been working out more days than not and will do better if I can more reliably get to bed sooner. I have started using the cross-trainers at work and, it's a long way back to my workouts in Scotland, but steady progress will more than suffice, it all helps. Eating a little less is also feeling sustainable. Today I finished cutting some larger insertable filters for my masks and am now thinking about assembling the next bedside table. Admittedly, mopping the floors may have to wait yet.

Stopping into work on a Sunday morning just to use a cross-trainer may seem undue effort when I could be exerting myself around my neighborhood here but I endeavor to establish a sustainable routine and that goal is served by minimizing the influence of the weather. Presently I work on campus on Wednesday and Thursdays and work out afterward, Sunday is nicely distant from both. I could buy a cross-trainer of my own but they are large and unwieldly and work provides nice ones for staff use. If only they had a pool too, at least one not exhibiting Cherenkov radiation.

It also helps that I am pausing work on the house for a while. There is some work that I hope to get done later this year, such as getting the attic insulated properly at last, but the handyman should be coming over tomorrow to wrap up the current drainage work and deal with the scrap and trash that's been left. What remnants he leaves, I shall dispose of myself. It is difficult for me to relax and get on with things when I have others around.

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Winter in the South

2022-01-29T02:23:29Z

My energy bill came today, the coldest month can cost me twice as much as the warmest. We had light snow flurries this afternoon and I figured that I ought to have split the rounds by now. There is snow on the ground now but the weather should warm up early next week, maybe then I will feel like going out there with the maul, then I can light the fire when it cools down again.

Tomorrow, the temperature is projected to get up to freezing, fortunately it is not often windy here. My handyman asked if he can come over tomorrow to work more on the outside drainage, I guess he doesn't mind the cold when he's working. Being mostly sedentary myself, too much of late, today I experimented with wearing two pairs of my thin socks: it worked fine although my feet still feel cold, even nestled inside my woolly slippers. At least I feel pleasantly warm once settled into bed.

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Getting back to actually doing more

2022-01-09T16:38:24Z

I look forward to this year with my house being in better shape, bringing me nearer the things I want to do in it. I am most eager to do various software (outside work) and music. I would like to indulge in board games, foreign languages, reading, writing, drawing, but I don't right now see when, I must be realistic about having to push at least some activities aside. After all, it may be more important to make time for exercise and meditation, also finally sorting and sharing old family photographs. How people fit in much at all outside sleep, paid work, food, chores, correspondence, personal hygiene, I still don't know. I have the annual treat of my tax filing coming up soon and, now some time into winter, I have yet to split the firewood. Further, for over an hour before bed, I need to unwind and relax, just watch some television or something, not even read anything too stimulating, else I shan't be able to fall asleep quickly.

What is clear is that my most precious resource at this point is time. I am already variously capable, I should be sure to do things with that rather than just preparing for future things. It's partly a case of making priorities that I can genuinely embrace and of summoning the willpower to make the habit of doing the things I want to, and that's easier if they are mostly things I truly care about. Thoughts drawn from few different sources make me suspect that I should work on being consciously engaged with my environment and circumstances, not just drifting through life passively on autopilot, killing time with my head in the clouds.

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Weight loss brings more fast food

2021-08-22T13:03:06Z

Being a little stricter with myself seems to have been working, my weight returned to its gentle trend downward. Next, I should focus on my resting heart rate, I am still slacking in trying to get back into exercising most days.

Whenever I come in under 140lb, I get a day off to eat whatever I like. Yesterday I tried Krystal for what may be the first time. I am used to White Castle, which is soon to celebrate its centenary, and this seems similar. The meal was quite good, mostly in terms of spice: the default condiment on the cheeseburgers is mustard, chili cheese fries are readily available, and the apple turnover had plenty of cinnamon; altogether a nice combination. If I order online from home then I reach the Krystal drive-through just about on time for pickup.

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A good start to the weekend

2021-06-05T14:56:45Z

I had difficulty earlier yesterday with getting some software working but it is a poorly documented prototype so teething troubles feel like a familiar inevitability. I finished off work by letting a collaborator know of a possible funding opportunity for them, and by causing a meeting later this month with a physical chemistry researcher about possible interesting projects, so that was a success. Nothing may come of it but I shall keep trying. I am good at software engineering but better at research; however, I have no research degree and much of my track record is not easily shown. Working on real-world projects that entail research challenges may be a way I can prove to my new employer what I can do when given the chance. And, if not, I do enjoy software engineering so I am also fairly content as I am.

This morning I awoke at a good time and my wet shaving went the best yet. Lessons I have been relearning include: use the sharpest razor known to humankind, keep it dry and out of humid air to help it to stay sharp, if the coarsest hair needs more than a couple of passes then the blade is now too blunt. Avoid any sideways movement, keep strokes straight and light and keep the blade at a shallow angle. When first starting, expect to take plenty of time, to cut oneself and shave badly, but the improvement that comes with practice is worth it. If God had meant us to shave our beards then our faces wouldn't be such an awkward shape, remember what the start of 2 Samuel 10 reports:

Whereupon Hanun seized David's representatives, shaved off half their beards, cut their clothes off halfway up, at their buttocks, and sent them away. When David was told, he sent someone to meet them, since the men were overcome with shame. Stay in Jericho, the king said, until your beards have grown again, and come back then.

I also worked out for the first time in a while, took a bath, then fried some onions, then tomato, then I scrambled egg with them. It came out reasonably and was probably fairly good for me.

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